Opinion: Wow, My Comedian Boyfriend Is Still Being Funny All the Time…

When I first met Tyler, I was so excited. He was a stand-up comedian and he was so funny. (Funny guys are such a turn-on!) When he met my friends, he would make jokes and they all totally loved him. And it seemed like he had a little joke for everyone he saw on the street. There was nothing this man couldn’t make funny!

The first time I saw him do stand-up comedy, I thought it was great! I mean it wasn’t really my style of humor, and frankly, I was surprised to hear his candid exploits about women he’s slept with and his descriptive stories about anal sex. But everyone else was laughing, so I figured that maybe I just didn’t get it!

Well after a year of being together, Tyler is still super funny. Like all the time. He hasn’t slowed down a bit. When we’re watching a show that I like, he’s good for a two-minute monologue on every character. I don’t really laugh anymore but he just keeps on going like I’m not even there. I once asked him to just let me watch the show in peace, and he made a ‘nagging wife’ joke. I know he was just being funny, but it felt weaponized.

Sometimes I’m not sure where the joking ends and Tyler begins. Like when he’s talking to me, I can’t tell if he’s being serious or working out a bit. The other day, I was explaining my Dad’s colon cancer operation and I could just tell he was writing jokes in his head. I guess I should appreciate that he doesn’t actually say the joke, but I know the face he makes when he’s trying to be funny, because it is literally the only face I’ve ever seen him make.

I hadn’t seen his live act in a while, so my friends and I recently decided to surprise him at a show. Well apparently, I’ve made it into his act. I guess I should be excited that an accomplished comic uses me as a muse, but I think I would have kept the embarrassing events of sex after too much Mexican food between us. But my friends all laughed… I guess that’s pretty cool…

In the end, I feel lucky to have him. Sure, my boyfriend can’t go five minutes without some attempt at observational humor and looks at everything in this world, including me, like some sort of zoo exhibit. But he could be a boring banker with actual definable human emotions that aren’t buried beneath a weird trauma detachment mechanism. And who would want that snoozefest? Not me…

Christ, I hope he doesn’t read this. This will probably end up in his set.

By Ryan Danley.