Category Archives: Uncategorized

Last week, we had the pleasure of interviewing Simon Zimmer, who is widely regarded as one of the best up-and-coming comics in his home state of Texas, while asking him about the evening’s specials at the restaurant where he was our waiter. “Tonight’s appetizer special is Brussels sprouts au gratin,” the comic said of hisContinue reading “We Interviewed the City’s Best Comedian and Also Asked Him What Tonight’s Specials Are”

Kansas City, MO – Reemer Hawkwind, a comedian whose name is objectively cool, was performing at a rooftop comedy showcase recently where a friend vouched for him to get a spot on the show, only to discover that he is probably the coolest person ever to absolutely suck at comedy. “I thought Reemer had allContinue reading “TRAGIC: Coolest Guy Ends Up Being Shittiest Comedian”

La Salle, IL — Open mic comedian and fairly new high school graduate Troy Newcomb was recently heard pining for an era of standup defined by legends like Sam Kinison, Rodney Dangerfield, and other acts who peaked at least two decades before his living memory had even begun. “It was just a better time,” saidContinue reading “Comedian Born in 1998 Longs for Era of Kinison and Dangerfield”

Portland, OR – Local white comedian Ron Johnson, who just took to the stage at the One-Shot open mic, would just like a minute to explain himself, according to sources. “I just need a quick minute to explain what I said. You’re all taking the whole thing out of context,” Johnson said while prowling theContinue reading “White Guy Just Needs a Minute to Explain Himself”

Boise, ID — Local comedian Griff Matthews recently lost his girlfriend after getting her to agree to do a podcast called Two Love Chairs, whose premise was a happy couple talking about relationships. “I told her it’d be like a classy, couples version of Call Her Daddy,” said Matthews, who thought airing a serious argumentContinue reading “Comedian Loses Girlfriend and Co-Host of Quarantine Relationship Podcast”

Baltimore, MD — The sun rose upon a new era in comedy after a recent all-female showcase, whose exhibition of half a dozen beautiful white women from wealthy families successfully destroyed the patriarchy forever. “This is such a big deal,” remarked Karen Lefenfield, a white woman who isn’t fully on board with gay marriage. “ToContinue reading “Patriarchy Smashed by Six Generically Attractive White Women at All-Female Comedy Showcase”

Louisville, KY — A local bar in downtown Louisville has cancelled its open mic, which had been the longest running comedy show in the city, the very instant it determined it had enough regular business to do so. “We never wanted to do comedy, but it was the only way to get a dozen peopleContinue reading “Local Bar Successful Enough to Cancel Open Mic”

Derry, ME — Friends of Allen Desch, a local accountant and a regular volunteer for several animal shelters, expressed no surprise, or even interest in the fact that he is gay. This begs the question: could he be the next Todd Glass? “Yeah, I live with my husband Jerry, and Rhonda, our German Shepard,” DeschContinue reading “The Next Todd Glass? This Man Is Gay and No One Really Cares”

Seattle, WA — Local comedian Dan Chase, who hosts Tuesday’s night’s “Just For Shits” open mic and suffers from severe codependency, recently allowed all attendees to go first in an attempt to avoid anyone being mad at him. “Well, I started with a sign-up list,” Chase said, sitting alone at a hi-top table. “First comeContinue reading “Codependent Open Mic Host Just Going to Let Everyone Go First”

Fargo, ND — Comedian Mikey Bourne, who has been performing across North Dakota for two and a half years, will be releasing his debut hour-long special on Amazon Prime, as if that accolade matters worth a fuck. “It so incredible to know that my comedy will be available to so many people,” ogled Bourne overContinue reading “Comic Brags About Having Special on Amazon Prime, as If It Fucking Counts”