Manhattan, NY — Hoping to cash in on emerging cryptocurrency trends, comedy booker Christian Adamski recently announced he is replacing traditional analog drink vouchers with his new cryptocurrency, “DrinkTicket.”
“Paying hardworking comics with complimentary drink tickets is an age old tradition,” remarked Adamski, waving his iPhone 7+ and gesturing matter-of-factly with his other hand. “But we are living in the digital era, and although I can’t explain any functional details about DrinkTicket, I can tell you that it is indeed very paperless, and is therefore the future of the industry.”
Local comic Micha Jester, a regular face at Manhattan’s Jokes ‘N Yolks Comedy & Brunch Club, offered a passionate, albeit unsolicited opinion about Adamski’s innovative new method of transactions.
“He literally just sends me an email that says ‘DrinkTicket’ three times, and a note at the bottom that says ‘This is cryptocurrency,’” claimed a visibly pissed off Jester. “Nothing is backed by any real tender, plus the bartender won’t take the vouchers because they’re paperless and apparently only work in exchange for crypto-cocktails. He thinks he’s funny, meanwhile us comics can’t even earn enough for a byte to eat.”
Adamski bombastically claims to have numerous wealthy investors, leaving many to wonder if his not-so-chicken claims of tenderless monies indicate that he’s actually a bad egg.
“I’m starting to think this ‘DrinkTicket’ isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,” confessed Ronald Halley, owner of Jokes ‘N Yolks and passionate pun advocate. “I can’t say these allegations of counterfeit cryptocurrency haven’t left me and the staff feeling a little, shall we say, henpecked? Perhaps we’re wondering if this guy is, I don’t know, a bit of a quack? Wait, shit, that’s ducks. Get back to me on this.”
As Adamski waved his iPhone 7+ once again, and walked backwards in the direction of the nearest exit, Jokes n’ Yolks bartender and aspiring stand-up comic Ula Bloom weighed in rhetorically, and asked, “Is this guy doing a bit… coin?”
By Ashley Ruark.
The Bringer 