Long Island, NY — Local comedian Vinny Tonnatoulie was recently banned from the only food delivery app that serviced his neighborhood after he allegedly tried to tip the driver in drink tickets.
“These rideshare snobs think they’re so much better than me,” Tonnatoulie grumbled angrily. “I don’t have any fuckin’ idea why this guy turned around his nose at a completely valid form of payment. Dude could’ve gotten two PBRs at The Big Hole down off 3rd Street. He could’ve used my name and gotten a free shot of Beam on the house.”
The incident took place last Friday at 12:45 A.M., when Tonnatoulie ordered two large pizzas from Mario’s Sliceria via the Postmates delivery app.
“I’m actually fuckin’ banned from callin’ that place,” the alleged continued. “They told me ‘Vinny, you always call us and yell slurs at us after midnight. That’s not a pizza order.’ So, I gotta use the fuckin’ app. What the hell ever happened to the customer always being right?”
Siddhartha Rodriguez, the driver who delivered the pizzas that night, explained what really happened on the night in question.
When Rodriguez handed the pizzas to Tonnatoulie, he was compensated with “a sweaty twenty dollar bill and small red raffle tickets,” at which point, Tonnatoulie “started speaking in a made-up language” before ultimately “chugging a beer and throwing the crumpled can” in Rodriguez’s face.
Tonnatoulie has now been forced to only get slices of pizza from eateries that are within walking distance of his apartment; there’s been no indication that he will ever be let back on Postmates again.
By Chris Hudson.
The Bringer 