Austin, TX — Comics and comedy fans across the Southwest are mourning the untimely loss of the mildly funny and remarkably well-dressed Mark “Zippy” Zypultski, who died last week in a horrifying tie-straightening accident.
“Zippy was always dressed real sharp,” remarked friend and colleague Lonnie Sanchez. “I knew him for almost twenty years, and I never saw his Adam’s apple once. That’s how high and tight he wore his button-downs. We used to kid that he’d choke himself by wearing shirts with an 11-inch neck, but he insisted on it because he had a closing bit about his fat, meaty throat. What I wouldn’t give to see that fat, meaty throat one more time.”
While Zypultski’s fatal mishap was out of the ordinary, it was not the first time a comedian’s death was wardrobe-related.
“I know of at least four people who’ve died because of something they wore on stage,” claimed Ricky Blizzard, owner of Blizzard’s Belly Laugh in downtown Austin. “This Zippy guy is the first one to go from a necktie though. It’s usually comics who freeze to death or succumb to hypothermia, which is exactly what those pricks deserved for wearing shorts on my stage.”
Zypultski’s family is currently arranging a memorial service, where attendees will be encouraged to dress formally, but only at their own risk.
By Tyler Dark & Al Salcido.
The Bringer 