La Salle, IL — Open mic comedian and fairly new high school graduate Troy Newcomb was recently heard pining for an era of standup defined by legends like Sam Kinison, Rodney Dangerfield, and other acts who peaked at least two decades before his living memory had even begun.
“It was just a better time,” said Newcomb, who regularly gets carded when buying tickets to an R-rated movie. “You didn’t have all this PC crap dictating what you can and can’t say. Comics used to have guts, and while my brain wasn’t developed enough on 9/11 for me to have any visual memory of it, I remember the comedy of the 70’s and 80’s quite well.”
Ronald Wake, a decrepit old man and one of Newcomb’s closest friends spoke to the young comedian’s credit.
“Troy will pop over to the home sometimes and we’ll watch an old Dangerfield video,” reminisced Wake while being fed applesauce intravenously. “Kid definitely respects the good old days of comedy, when white guys would say whatever they wanted, and nobody had a problem with it. Nowadays, everyone’s all sensitive. I’m glad at least one person his age can appreciate the recklessly problematic era of comedy that paved the way for so many terrible artists.”
Newcomb’s performances at local open mics have been met with what could be considered “mixed reactions.”
“He’s never performing on my show again,” declared comedian and producer Abi Clayburn when asked about Newcomb’s act. “I see this kid who looks fourteen come in and ask for a spot, and I thought, that’s cute, you know? Kid wants to give comedy a shot, why not let him have a few minutes? He gets up there and goes on a tirade about immigrants that would make the most racist of uncles blush. It was a disaster, like a 70-year-old Republican trapped in a child’s body.”
Despite his act’s negative reception, Newcomb did recently accept his first paid gig as the opening comedian for the band Trapt.
By Tyler Dark.
The Bringer 