Seattle, WA — Local comedian Dan Chase, who hosts Tuesday’s night’s “Just For Shits” open mic and suffers from severe codependency, recently allowed all attendees to go first in an attempt to avoid anyone being mad at him.
“Well, I started with a sign-up list,” Chase said, sitting alone at a hi-top table. “First come first serve. And then people started asking if they could go up ahead of other comics. Things went downhill quickly from there. Next thing I knew, comics were coming from all directions. I couldn’t say no. One after another asked me if they could go first, and I just kept saying yes because they all said they had other mics to get to. By the time the mic started, all 23 of them were lined up on the side of the stage, so I called them all up at once. And I think it worked, everyone left happy. At least I hope so.”
While the idea of 23 open mic comics delivering their material at once may seem out of the ordinary, most performers didn’t seem bothered. In fact, most may have not realized it even occurred.
“What? Yeah, I guess there were other people on stage,” declared self-proclaimed up-and-comer Kristy Keen. “I was pretty focused on this tight four I need for this show I may be on in a month. It seemed like I was killing, or maybe it was the woman standing next to me, either way, I killed. All four people in attendance seemed stoked.”
While this may have seemed a success, the National Chairperson of Comedy Open Mics President Luther Dane is concerned about the standard set.
“While I would hate to disparage Mr. Chase’s ‘sickness’ because the goddamn PC police who ruin comedy will show up at my door and have me surrender my first amendment rights, I feel like this still set a bad precedent,” Dane proclaimed to an empty bar. “I understand the struggles of running an open mic. Your friends, better comics, people who run shows, chicks you want to bang, etc. But you’ve got to own that shit. Put those assholes where they belong. The list is the fucking list. Write that shit in stone like a goddamn professional!”
Mr. Chase was unavailable for further comment as he too busy sending DMs to every comic in attendance asking if they are okay.
By Ryan Danley.
The Bringer 