Fargo, ND — Comedian Mikey Bourne, who has been performing across North Dakota for two and a half years, will be releasing his debut hour-long special on Amazon Prime, as if that accolade matters worth a fuck.
“It so incredible to know that my comedy will be available to so many people,” ogled Bourne over his new special, which like every other Amazon special, nobody will watch. “I always knew that if I worked hard enough, I would be able to sell my special to a network. I’m so grateful to the folks at Amazon for believing in me and accepting my money to get my name out there!”
Media analysts have noticed a rising trend amongst utterly inexperienced and unqualified comedians releasing specials thanks to Amazon’s seemingly nonexistent vetting policy.
“The math behind it is pretty straightforward,” remarked Claire Medina, a sociologist who specializes in cultural studies. “Basically, Amazon has all the money. So what they do is flood their network with specials whose sole purpose is to make the comics who produce them feel good, because fuck it, it’s no real loss to them. Plus they can afford to balance out the garbage with acclaimed specials and classics, so they don’t lose viewership entirely. Everyone wins, except people who want to watch a decent comedy special.”
Bourne’s announcement was met with many congratulations from his equally not-that-good comedic peers.
“I love that my Prime subscription comes with something I could just as easily see for free live,” said Noah Lott, a friend of Bourne’s. “It also gives me hope that someday someone like me will be talented enough pay Amazon whatever they charge to let you have a special.”
Comedians with unpracticed material are encouraged to submit their specials to Amazon for “review,” and to remember that if they somehow manage to get rejected, there is still HBO.
By Tyler Dark.
The Bringer 