Fredericksburg, VA — New comic Jeff Stillwater has made a point vocalize his obsession with transgender people and his opinion that atheism is an entire personality, which has industry experts wondering, could he be the next Ricky Gervais?
Bar patrons at a recent open mic claim that Stillwater’s set last Tuesday was high on observations about trans women and low on punchlines. His opening bit contained the line “Oh, you identify as a woman? Well I identify as a helicopter! Everyone has to call me a helicopter now, or else they’re a bigot!” One unwilling audience member claimed he already saw that joke word-for-word in a meme that his conservative uncle shared in 2014.
He also said verbatim, “Just because you cut your dick off doesn’t mean you’re a woman! Hell, some of these people still have their dicks and they wanna say they’re a woman! Hello, you’ve a giant, veiny throbbing hard cock and a big ol’ pair of sweaty, hairy balls draping between your thighs!”
In addition to loud, impassioned descriptions of the genitalia of people he finds too sensitive, Stillwater also said “I would never date a trans woman.” Anonymous sources have claimed that no trans women have made this offer to him at any point, with several even expressing elation at the news that they will never have to deal with him.
Much like comedy legend Ricky Gervais, Stillwater is also a proud atheist, and he mentioned it no less them 8 times in his 3-minute set. “There is no God, I’m sorry if that offends you,” he bravely proclaimed to the Los Angeles crowd of fellow comedians who are also atheists.
“He’s one of the few comedians who is fearless enough to say he’s an atheist and to talk about transgender people and offend the liberal elites,” according to Fedora Magazine, a new publication for angry 15-year-olds who think anime is real.
With his smug smirk and toxic, pathological fixation on trans women, Jeff Stillwater may be the next big thing in comedy. Look out, snowflakes, this guy is about to tell it like it is.
By Drew Landry.
The Bringer 