Hanover, PA — After evaluating his career trajectory and anticipated workload, local comic Brett Kemp has decided to stop writing new material and just lean into looking like total shit all the time.
“I like when people laugh at my jokes, but I fucking hate writing them,” growled Kemp through the bits of nacho cheese clinging to his unkempt beard. “I figured, I’ll stop the writing part, take the worst care of myself possible, and be super gross on stage. Who needs original new jokes when I can just audibly belch and point out the tit sweat on my shirt?”
While some may consider Kemp’s move risky, industry analysts claim that it is a bold and emerging strategy among comics who feel the weight of a two- to five-hour workweek.
“Within six months of getting started, many comics begin to realize that making strangers laugh involves some level of work,” said Lila Sharpe, a development manager at Spotify. “But now, some of them are realizing that being a grimy caricature of someone with talent is a much more efficient way of winning an audience over than more traditional approaches, like developing your act or putting time into being funnier.”
Those who have witnessed Kemp’s recent development in his act have offered a wide array of reviews.
“While farting loudly enough for everyone to hear isn’t exactly a joke, it’s still kind of funny,” admitted Mark Lewes, whose nightly drinking was recent interrupted by an open mic where Kemp performed. “This kid can’t be older than twenty-five, but he carries himself like a sixty-year-old with heart disease. He smells like he bathes in weed and beer sweat. But people love it, so what can I say? Still, it seems like a big sacrifice just to avoid the work of being a comedian.”
Kemp is also getting ready to release his debut album, My Dick Stinks, which will feature his now legendary bit, “Uh, Hey Guys.”
By Tyler Dark.
The Bringer 