Los Angeles, CA — Months after the widely publicized allegations of sexual misconduct against Chris Delia, another famous funnyman is now back in the spotlight for all the wrong reasons; Jeff Dunham has recently been accused of inappropriate sexual behavior by at least five of his puppets.
In the late 2000’s and early 2010’s, Dunham filled stadiums with his brand of politically incorrect humor, but the fallen star is now being referred to as “the Cosby of puppetry.”
“He just… put his hand inside me,” recalled a shivering Achmed during a recent interview with Anderson Cooper. “Without asking. In front of people. It was humiliating. And this was no isolated incident, he literally did this tens of thousands of times in public. No one even questioned it.”
Dunham’s puppet Bubba J was apparently completely unaware of his co-performers horrifying sexual exploits.
“This is like watching a childhood friend die,” Bubba expressed through painful shock while being interviewed for the Joe Rogan Experience. “I had no idea he was capable of these disgusting things. Walter and Melvin the Superhero Guy were apparently threatened with career sabotage if they came forward. And the story about Jose The Jalapeño and the stick? It’s almost too much to stomach.”
Tucker Carlson vehemently defended Dunham in a 17-minute, fiery segment on his Fox News television program.
“In an entertainment industry filled with liberal elites and hypocritical snowflakes, of course a Republican comedian is being crucified without a proper trial,” Carlson spat at the camera. “Thanks to thought police that were always determined to silence him, it looks like Jeff himself was the real puppet all along. Mr. Dunham, we here at Fox News strand behind you and all other conservative-identifying white men accused of sexual misconduct.”
While Dunham declined to comment directly, his lawyer, a new puppet of his named Bradley S. Fartdick, Esq., spoke for him in a cartoonish manner with a silly voice, which was unfortunately both objectively impressive and admittedly hilarious.
By Drew Landry.
The Bringer 