INDIANAPPOLIS, IN – After being asked for months to “do some of her little skits,” 29-year-old comedian Alex Remi performed a few minutes of standup in her living room while her family watched from the couch.
“They kept saying ‘we’re bored, we want to see the little skits you used to do at all those shows you did all these years,’” said Alex. “As if it’s a switch you can just turn on. But then my dad pointed out that I don’t pay rent and I kind of just caved in, and I ended up doing some of my more tame material.”
Remi’s grandmother, Paloma Axelenmous, was particularly disturbed by the content of Alex’s act, which included numerous references to oral sex and drug abuse.
“I never imagined that after all the work my parents did to get us to this country, that my granddaughter would choose a life of such filth,” she into a tear-soaked handkerchief. “This family’s American Dream has been made into a floosie’s dick-joke nightmare!”
Not everyone in Alex’s family had negative feedback for her material, however; her sister Rae loved the jokes and was excited to know her sister was making a name for herself.
“My sister’s a badass bitch and this cuck of a family can’t handle her realness,” revealed Rae, to the chagrin of her grandmother, who was sitting a few feet away. “It’s called freedom of speech, and The Internet raised me. People like Grandma don’t get it because they’re old and they don’t get her edgy, raw style.”
At press time, Remi’s mother Nikki was reportedly holding pictures of her as a baby in the family’s study while crying. Meanwhile, father Richard could be heard dropping multiple wrenches while screaming expletives.
By Chris Hudson.
The Bringer 