Paradise Valley, AZ – Comedian Jason Tortle has recently made waves, figuratively and legally, after deciding to officially trademark the phrase “I, uh,” and subsequently suing every other comedian.
“After not getting anywhere in comedy for a year and a half, I decided to bring my background into the scene,” says Tortle, who graduated from the Caruso School of Law at Pepperdine University in 2015. “The thing I didn’t like about law is that everything out of my mouth had direct consequences for other people, which I didn’t realize when I first got into it. That was too much pressure, so I started doing comedy.”
Tortle’s lawsuit is so expansive, that anyone who has performed comedy in the Phoenix metropolitan area in the last decade has more than likely been sued for trademark infringement.
“I got a cease and desist letter after walking off stage last night. I’m pissed,” said open mic regular Jinn Beeker. “This is the worst thing that’s happened to me as a comedian since I got heckled by my grandparents. I don’t see how he could legally prove that that’s a unique phrase.”
Several lawsuits have been filed against national headliners as well, including Mick Twardson, whose new one-hour special is called “I, Uh… Farted.” Tortle expects “a total shitstorm” from Twardson’s legal team.
“Getting the examining attorney to believe those words were specific to my act was easy,” Tortle admitted, grinning sinisterly. “Finally, there’s a benefit to my coworkers never attending my show. Now I have household names like Twardson talking about me. I’m gonna take his money, and next year, he’ll be opening for me! And that’s if I let him!”
Tortle is struggling to move forward with the lawsuits amid huge amounts of backlash, and at the time of reporting, is still couch surfing. Meanwhile, comedians throughout Arizona have resorted to saying “I, ooohhhh…” between thoughts in order to avoid legal scrutiny.
By Todd Basil.
The Bringer 