Chicago, IL — Open mic host and ten-year bar show veteran Alex Evans has spent the last decade asking uninterested families, bar patrons, and other comedians to “give it up”. But now, he’s realized that maybe he should take his own advice, and has decided to “give it up” himself.
“I guess you could say I saw the light,” recounted Evans, as he stared at what could be made of his reflection in a dirty dive bar bathroom mirror. “I added it up, and I’ve spent 228 hours of the last six months telling people to give it up. Maybe I should’ve been telling myself to give it up all along. Also, it would be nice to take a shit in a bathroom where six people weren’t stabbed.”
Jack Richardson, owner of Jack’s Chili Shack, where Evans held his open mic every Wednesday for ten years, had some interesting insight regarding the comic’s decision.
“We had a fucking open mic here?” Richardson asked while clutching a burger slider. “Shit, I completely forgot. I honestly thought those guys were one of those men’s church groups, so I never paid them much mind. Whatever, we’ll probably just get some other alcoholic to host it. What comedian is gonna turn down a ten-dollar payday?”
Comics throughout the Chicago comedy circuit also had some thoughts of their own about Evans choosing to “give it up”.
“Alex? I think I tried to bang his girlfriend once, but I’m not sure,” said Fred Wilson, a comic who appeared frequently on Evans’ open mic. “Anyway, we gave it up for him for a long time, and now it’s time for him to… you know what, it wasn’t his girlfriend. He doesn’t have a girlfriend.”
At the time of reporting, Evans was driving his ‘03 Ford Taurus into the night, in hopes of pursuing his true, lifelong dream of being a karaoke DJ.
By Kurt Ryan.
The Bringer 